This is a recounting of my soul retrieval that took place on February 15, 2013 at Spirit Hollow. I hope to blog about my future fledgling attempts at journeying, so I wanted to give some background as to what came before. The theory is that the soul is made of parts, and some of those parts can get lost or stolen through trauma, or other ways. In a soul retrieval, the shamanic practitioner journeys to retrieve soul parts for the patient that are ready to come back. Anything in quotes is directly from the write-up that I received at the end of the session.
First I lay down on the futon in the working area, and merely relaxed and tried to stay receptive to the energies that were coming back to me. Tracey, my shamanic counselor, then began to rattle, chant, and whistle, invoking any healing spirits that wished to come help with the work. Then she began to trance and start the clearing/cleansing part of the ritual.
Tracey told me that she first had to remove layers of gauzy protection that were wrapped all around me. She says this is common in clients, but that I had so many layers that she found herself wondering how anything got in! Then she saw a waterfall of many colors, blue, gold, purple and white, that came flowing through me, from the crown of my head out through my feet, releasing old energy. She sensed that this was a feminine cleansing energy.
Then four large androgynous beings came and sat at my head, feet, and each side of me. At my head was a blue being who worked with long fingers to release negative thought patterns out of my brain, actually rewiring the brain to be less susceptible to those negative attacking thoughts, and opened up the "doors and windows" for them to fly away as moths and birds. This opening also allowed sun light to shine in, and "new, life-affirming thoughts, loving thoughts, thoughts of power and wisdom and joy".
On my left side was an orange being, who worked on my heart and solar plexus. It massaged my heart to get it pumping again, in a spiritual/emotional way, of course, and energizing the solar plexus so that I could bring in more energy into my center. It also worked on removing a turtle shell from my solar plexus, that I had been using for protection. The message Tracey got was that I still needed protection there, but they gave me a knight's shield instead, something I could put up when needed, or take down when it wasn't needed, so I would still be able to let things in, and it would be under my conscious control.
At my feet was a being that started out green, and then became multicolored as the healing went on. It worked on removing concrete from my hips, and tethers from my ankles, allowing me to move more freely, and feel lighter, so that I could move forward with my life choices. The many colors indicated all the worlds of possibilities open to me.
To my right was a pink being, who was combing out the fear and anxiety from my muscles, from the very DNA of my body, just combing and clearing out all that had been imprinted on me by my family line and had built up, so that I could really relax on a deep body level. Tracey then got an image of me falling backwards into a cushion-like cloud, just surrendering and letting go into a supportive embrace of protection and deep unconditional love. (This image is hard for me, as I never can just relax and fall backwards. I hate those trust exercises where you're supposed to do just that. So I need to work with this a while.)
This process of clearing and cleansing went on for quite a while, and left me feeling very warm and relaxed, and soothed. Then Tracey sat down by me and began to journey for the missing soul parts.
First Tracey was shown a female falconer, who was at once both an archetypal figure and a part of my total self. She led the way along the journey, as she knew the terrain. The first soul part that Tracey was taken to was about 5 years old, and was pinned down by some force, and unable to move or talk. She was being held down by some sort of male energy, and Tracey and her helpers had to plead with him/it to let the part go. When the 5 yr old was released, she had no energy, and Tracey had to do a sort of spiritual CPR on her to bring her back to full energy and vitality. Once that was done, though, she jumped up and was full of life, and had a doll and everything.
The next soul part was about 10 months old. She was trying to pull herself up and walk, and kept falling down, and kept looking for a parent or someone to come, and no one was coming. She was trying to get to the voices in the other room, but was having trouble moving. At this point, Tracey was shown that there was a sort of family legacy, a cloak of paralyzing energy that had been cast over the female line from several generations back, causing a sort of stupor. Tracey and her helpers were able to pull this back and away from the house, and the baby was able to now laugh and play and run freely.
The third part was me at 10 years old. This part was sitting in a stairwell that looked like part of an institutional building, very isolated and sad. Tracey told her to look up, and she looked up the stairwell and could see the light shining down all around her. She then ascended into the light, and Tracey tells me that "she is the part that can teach you about the upward pull to the light to the truth."
The last part was one I was sort of expecting, me at around 14 years old, about the time when my mother died. Tracey found this part, and a part of my mother's soul, intertwined with each other in a loving embrace. They had not wanted to part, both out of love and of fear. She said this part of the journey was very poignant, as they helped the two soul parts to let go and untangle from each other, as they both knew it was time for this to happen.
Finally, the spirits told Tracey that I needed more "shakti" or life force energy, so she was to bring back a power animal for me. I’m still a bit reluctant to talk about her, because of things I read in the past about discussing one’s power animal, although she has indicated to me that I’m being a bit silly about this. I can say that she is "a fierce, loving, powerful one".
Then Tracey sounded the callback on her rattle, bringing herself back into ordinary consciousness. She blew the soul parts and the power animal into my head and heart, and rattled around me to seal them in. Then I simply lay there for about 10 minutes, just to let them settle and see what if any images I got. I didn't sense anything, other than a sense of being somewhat fuller, and feeling incredibly warm, and comfortable and relaxed. It was a good feeling. Then she came back and told me about the journey, and then I went outside to ground in nature. And that was the end of the soul retrieval.
I could identify with most all of the things Tracey told me about the clearing and the journey. The 10 year old me was being teased a lot at school, and it left her feeling very left out and lonely. The 14 yr old, as I said, was from the time my mother passed away. The big mystery for me was the story of the 5 yr old part, as I have no memory of anything particular happening at that age that might fit. I will probably learn more as I journey to talk with these parts in the future. And of course, at 10 months, anything seems like a major frustration and trauma, so that does not surprise me, nor does the image of a quelling influence coming through my mom's side of the family.
Currently, I am working on integrating the soul parts that came back, and I will blog about that in the near future, hopefully. All in all, it was a positive experience, and I'm glad I had it done.